CAN'T READ MYCAN'T READ MYCAN'T READ MYCAN'T READ MYYPOKERFACE.Lyrics
| Lady GaGa lyrics
- Poker Face lyrics
I AM PANTS-PISSINGLY EXCITED!!! I am all packed already basically and I am insanely wigglyyyyy! XDDD I can't get over how SOON it is!!!! COLUMBUS WAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! XD
And I was retardedly excited about them calling me today. It totally made up for the lack of regard from her *yet again.*
I got to thinking: I am so tired of this fucking game. I am so sick of wondering and placing my faith in people who just let me down over and over and bullshit me rather than put in the effort that I put in. No loss anymore. Nothing worth pursuing anymore. I have told myself this a thousand motherfucking times but it still does not stick.
Maybe this time it will because I will make it. I will stop giving 20th and 30th chances after I have been made a fool of.
When I have friends across the motherfucking country who call and text me more often than someone in my own fucking hometown/county/state, I think that is a sign that my standards for friendships need to be raised and I need to slough off the people who don't give a shit like dead skin, to grow out of them and stop letting them confine me to someone smaller and lesser than I could be if I just allowed myself to be.
It also got me thinking about how I treat my friends and how I want to treat them. I realize there are a lot of times when I am not nearly the friend I want to be or am not as considerate to them as I could be. For the ones who are as persistent with me as I tried to be with her, I apologize. Pietro, I owe you more than you are getting. Rebecca, I miss our time together and your clever, challenging way. Lora, I don't call you up to hang hardly at all, but I treasure our time together. Jake, you are a treasure to me and I am not the "mom" I used to be. Hell, I still haven't gone to see you at school. Sara, you have stuck with me through all kinds of hell no matter what. You all deserve better and I am going to make myself be better and give a better friendship back to you all. I don't want to be the disappointment I keep feeling with her in your lives. I pledge to be better than that not out of some sort of nose-in-the-air shit, but because I have to be and you deserve to have me be better.
Also, this from by buddy Jake. Makes my day. ;3 One of my fave songs I listened to with my daddy.
I love you all. Expect more.