?

Log in

 
 
16 October 2009 @ 01:04 am
More.  
CAN'T READ MYCAN'T READ MYCAN'T READ MYCAN'T READ MYYPOKERFACE.


Lyrics | Lady GaGa lyrics - Poker Face lyrics

I AM PANTS-PISSINGLY EXCITED!!! I am all packed already basically and I am insanely wigglyyyyy! XDDD I can't get over how SOON it is!!!! COLUMBUS WAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! XD

And I was retardedly excited about them calling me today. It totally made up for the lack of regard from her *yet again.*

I got to thinking: I am so tired of this fucking game. I am so sick of wondering and placing my faith in people who just let me down over and over and bullshit me rather than put in the effort that I put in. No loss anymore. Nothing worth pursuing anymore. I have told myself this a thousand motherfucking times but it still does not stick.
Maybe this time it will because I will make it. I will stop giving 20th and 30th chances after I have been made a fool of.
When I have friends across the motherfucking country who call and text me more often than someone in my own fucking hometown/county/state, I think that is a sign that my standards for friendships need to be raised and I need to slough off the people who don't give a shit like dead skin, to grow out of them and stop letting them confine me to someone smaller and lesser than I could be if I just allowed myself to be.
It also got me thinking about how I treat my friends and how I want to treat them. I realize there are a lot of times when I am not nearly the friend I want to be or am not as considerate to them as I could be. For the ones who are as persistent with me as I tried to be with her, I apologize. Pietro, I owe you more than you are getting. Rebecca, I miss our time together and your clever, challenging way. Lora, I don't call you up to hang hardly at all, but I treasure our time together. Jake, you are a treasure to me and I am not the "mom" I used to be. Hell, I still haven't gone to see you at school. Sara, you have stuck with me through all kinds of hell no matter what. You all deserve better and I am going to make myself be better and give a better friendship back to you all. I don't want to be the disappointment I keep feeling with her in your lives. I pledge to be better than that not out of some sort of nose-in-the-air shit, but because I have to be and you deserve to have me be better.



Also, this from by buddy Jake. Makes my day. ;3 One of my fave songs I listened to with my daddy.


I love you all. Expect more.
 
 
Current Mood: determinedstrong
Current Music: september--pomplamoose cover of earth, wind, and fire
 
 
 
zengzengmar on October 16th, 2009 09:04 am (UTC)
we love you too
Kit Twonkie Snicket: cfoinvadertwinkie on October 17th, 2009 01:59 am (UTC)
*squeezle*
popscockles: DUDEMANBRO!1!1!popscockles on October 16th, 2009 01:46 pm (UTC)
I thought you dropped that chick like a sack of steaming hot dinosaur shit already?

I second what Zeng said. WE LOVE YOU, TWONKIE. OMG YOU'RE COMING HERE TOMORROW OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. COLUMBUSWOW.
Kit Twonkie Snicketinvadertwinkie on October 17th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
Pssh, so did I, but I am a sentimental bitch.

I LOVE YOU TOO NOKKIIIII! OMG AND I AM TOTALLY GUNNA BE THERE IN LIKE 24 HOURS!!!!!!
Ann Sulaiman: Morpheushakucho_cygnus on October 16th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC)
Her?

What happened..?
Kit Twonkie Snicket: pwnklokinvadertwinkie on October 17th, 2009 02:01 am (UTC)
We'll have to have a loooooong chat session on this. >.O;;
(Deleted comment)
Kit Twonkie Snicket: skwisinvadertwinkie on November 1st, 2009 07:17 pm (UTC)
Heeee! I LOVE YOU TERRY!
I can't wait to see you in January! OHAYOCON FTW!!! :3